how to write porn with a straight face
there are plural dicks
they are rubbing
there is NO LUBE
NO LUBE AT ALL
the dicks are chafing against each other
their are getting rug burn
it is not nice
the dicks are kind of sore
its like an indian rug burn on your dick
So can we talk about the Winter Soldier’s leitmotif on the Captain America 2 soundtrack? Because it’s nothing short of brilliance.
It begins with a slow build— like an air raid siren— that climbs into an almost human wail before spilling into something similar to radio static. All similar war-time alerts that are heralds of one warning: He’s coming.
The warnings are abruptly ended by mechanic, industrial clanging noises— staccato and heavy— that tell us that the Winter Soldier has arrived and has come for blood. Continual small “screaming” inflections over the music emphasize the terroristic nature of the track. And then— finally— the music track cuts in as a pairing to the heavy industrial noises that had bombarded us for almost four minutes prior.
The fact that the track is almost entirely industrial— no “natural” sounding instruments occur until the last minute or so— is beautifully appropriate. Winter Soldier’s theme is as manufactured and as mechanical as he is— cold, choppy, and wholly a product of artificial engineering.
And it’s terrifyingly perfect.
you’re not fucking cute
not at all
this track is my LIFE and I NEED IT
study partner: what are you doing
me: not tumblrrrrr
Disneyworld needs to make a rollercoaster based off of the ride Yzma and Kronk take to the lair. When the ride starts, Yzma’s voice yells “pull the lever, Kronk!” and the ride starts to move backwards so she yells “wrong lever!” and it shoots you forward.
WHY IS THIS NOT HAPPENING?!
You can send a message to Wondercon staff here, if you’d like to let them know what you think of this shirt being sold at their convention.
Fuck I hate geek culture sometimes.
Can I sell a shirt that says “Fuck Bronies”?
oh you have got to be kidding me? is that really necessary?
i mean by all means, sell the shirt. it gives a pretty clear message of who not to talk to.
HIMYM AU: Barney finds out that Robin works for S.H.I.E.L.D as Agent Hill (Part 1)
They’re mixing two different universes together and yet it still makes waaay more sense than the finale.
….you know what, it really does.
HIMYM finale headcanon accepted. And then they pretend to get divorced and Robin/Maria distances herself from her friends and a couple years later someone captures footage of Maria Hill during a big superhero battle and she has to come clean to everybody and THEY ALL RESUME BEING FRIENDS AND NONE OF THE REST OF THE FINALE HAPPENS and also, later, the group accidentally meets the Avengers, and Barney spends the entire time convinced Tony is hitting on Robin (which Tony plays into to screw with him) and Lily, Tracy and Natasha disappear somewhere to bond and Steve is both charmed and weirded out by Marshall and Ted is left to try and socialize with Clint, who just sits there quietly letting Ted dig himself a deeper and deeper hole as his questions and overtures get more and more awkward.
And Robin/Maria is all, “I KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN. I KNEW IT. KNOCK THAT OFF RIGHT NOW. YES, YOU.”
So Tony lets Barney off the hook and Barney immediately starts awkwardly fanboying all over him, and Clint lets Ted off the hook and cracks up and Ted is all “wait what you have a facial expression?!"
And Robin/Maria goes to find Natasha and drink until the whole thing is over. Never again. This is never happening ever again. (It happens again.)