since my little post about being autochorissexual has inexplicably exploded 260+ notes in the past couple of days (seriously what the heck happened here), i think maybe a follow-up post is in order.
i did not invent the word autochorissexual. Anthony F. Bogaert did. he’s the guy who literally wrote the book on asexuality. Dr. Bogaert is not himself asexual but is one of the few sciencey people doing sciencey research on people who are, so that’s cool. i got the word autochorissexual from his article Asexuality and Autochorissexualism (Identity-Less Sexuality) which is, alas, now behind a $40 paywall. i’ll paraphrase what i remember of it.
in the course of his asexuality research, Dr. Bogaert identified more than one hundred women who—all independently—described a sexual interest in sex itself but could not imagine themselves as active participants in it. the article deals only with women; i don’t know whether Bogaert observed anything similar among people who aren’t women. Bogaert describes autochorissexualism as a target-oriented paraphilia, one in which, specifically, the usual target sequence “I am attracted to [that person]” does not include the “I”. many of these women said they did masturbate while thinking about other people having sex. they did not identify as voyeurs because they did not think of themselves as observers. they considered themselves non-entities in sex, and were turned off by the thought of themselves participating in the act even as a passive observer. some women mentioned preferring porn/erotica that focused on male participants because they were less likely to personally identify with a man.
so, if anyone wants to call tumblr bullshit on this word, take it to Brock University.
also, here is the AVEN thread where Siggy links to Bogaert’s article, which is how i heard of it.
Fucking awesome. This makes enormous amounts of sense to me; I thought I was just at the “time of life” (urk), when personal interest in meatspace sexual activity had faded. Not that I’m going to claim this identity (yet), because I have most definitely been otherwise in my life. But it does add to my list of reasons that many of us are so deeply, personally, intimately invested in reading and writing M/M fic.
Updating: I was able to access the article through my university account, and uploaded it here.
nyanja14 this looks like something you might be interested in
I really!!!! want!!!! queer spaces!!!! that aren’t nightclubs!!!!!!
bookstores! cafes! where people where bracelets according to their interests: seeking females, seeking males, seeking males and females, not seeking…
I apologize if this comes off as disrespectful to Michael Brown or Trayvon Martin. Or their families. Or YOU, the reader. I’m not about that. That’s not why I drew this.
I am just really freaked out that 40% of Americans (and 47% of White Americans) do not think that the killings and violence in Ferguson ‘raise any racial issues.’ Fellow White Persons, this is our chance to learn. This is our chance to change.
When Trayvon Martin was murdered because Full Grown Men in America are frightened to violence by the presence black children, the dialogue turned very quickly into a conversation about gun control.
And gun control is an issue that deserves our attention.
But it won’t change the massive poverty in Black America. The arrest rate. The education statistics. The institutional, systemic, casual, and passive racism that plagues our country.
And it wouldn’t have saved Michael Brown.
Anyway. I’m sorry if this comes off as disrespectful or insincere or preachy. I’m sorry if my execution (or personality) gets in the way of what I’m trying to say. I am an imperfect artist, an imperfect person, and I am, undoubtedly, blinded to a million things by my own glaring whiteness. So this might be… Lord, this might be awful. I’m so sorry if it’s awful. Really.
But. I just keep thinking… Look, my wife is pregnant with our first child. A boy. We’re nervous, we’re excited, we’re SO ANXIOUS because what the hell do you do with babies? WE don’t know. But if we were a black family… in this country… we would be so terrified. Because we live in a nation that murders the children of black parents, puts it on the news WITH RIOTS AND TEAR GAS as decoration, and still half of us don’t even see it as a problem. Can you imagine that? Can you imagine bringing a child into that reality, to face the odds we lay out for black kids?
That would break me. I’ve never known anything like that. No one should ever know anything like that.
So let’s talk to our friends about race. Lets talk to our families. And when actual victims of racism try to tell us what’s going on in, say, a peaceful community protest as they are being gassed and shot at by cops WE SHOULD LISTEN TO AND BELIEVE THEM. Let’s talk to each other about this until we are all on the same page.
And then let’s turn the damn page.
#DidYouKnow #Deaf #DeafAwareness #education #SignLanguage #advocacy #NMSCares
This is actually sadly relevant. I had a lecture this summer about sign languages and Deaf culture and when I was finished, one hearing girl from the audience stayed behind to ask me some more question.
She asked me: “And your parents use sign language, right?” Like it was the most obvious thing in the world and why is she even asking this, of course my parents must know sign language.
"No… They don’t, actually."
"And how do you communicate, then?"
"But… isn’t that complicated for you?"
"It is, sometimes."
"They probably didn’t have time for it…" she said. And I haven’t the heart to tell her that my father was offered sign language courses several times, that I offered to teach them some signs and that they always refused.
But I did told her: “It is not that rare. Most of deaf people I know have hearing parents who don’t sign.”
It’s the sad truth. People are willing to pay for surgeries to “repair” their children, but they are not willing to learn something to communicate with them.
i’d like to add onto this with my own personal experience, too. i was born hearing, but as soon as i was diagnosed as HoH, my parents didn’t do anything to learn ASL. they were quick to put me in classes, but they wouldn’t when i suggested to them that they take the classes with me so that we could learn.
i’ve tried to teach my mom how to sign numerous times, but she always says that “you can’t teach an old dog new tricks,” to which i tell her that she can learn, she just doesn’t want to. which is true. neither of my parents want to learn how to sign, but they want me to be able to hear perfectly so they don’t have to repeat themselves.
little do they know that their frustration with me not being able to hear them would be solved if they would just learn how to sign. maybe signing something to me once instead of repeating themselves four times and then getting mad would be more beneficial.
I’m absolutely shocked at this, it’s never crossed my mind that many parents wouldn’t even try to meet their hard of hearing kids halfway.
Reasons to dye your hair bright and unnatural colors
- Because you wanna
- Being punk rock
- Looking hella cute
- Small children’s reactions
old ppl telling u they love ur hair
small kids all the way! when my hair was neon it got babies to stop crying it was the best
DON’T BE ASHAMED TO SAY WHAT YOU LIKE OR WHO YOU ADMIRE :) People you look up to are a very important part of your personality too, and you should NEVER forget it.
Looking up to someone IS NOT creepy. It’s healthy
Writing fanfiction IS NOT weird. It’s creative.
Shipping IS NOT disturbing. It’s human.
FANGIRLING DOES NOT EQUAL INSANITY
ok that’s one way of putting shipping?//